Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Keep Me Humble

One of the prayers that I always pray is that God will keep me humble. There is so much in the Bible about remaining humble that I feel it is quite important to God. However, I must admit that the humbling experience isn't always so enjoyable. A few weeks ago, I was reading in I Peter 3 about how beauty is in the heart and how we shouldn't be so concerned with being beautiful by our clothing, hair,etc. This really hit me b/c I had been feeling not so good about myself (aging) and tried to solve the problem by a new haircut, some new clothes, and purchasing some pricey cosmetics. Hate to admit it, but I was feeling so much better and thinking that I had achieved my goal of looking "prettier". My hair looked great, I had my new sweater and shoes on. My new makeup evened out my skin tone so wondrously. (I have been cursed with sensitive skin and will break out in a rash to perfumes, detergents, soaps, lotions, you name it). Wow life was looking up! For some unknown reason, in the midst of this euphoric time, I decided to cut my dogs toenails. Needless to say, within 5 minutes I had a HUGE bloody gash across my face. From a distance it looks like a mass of pimples on top of a wrinkle. Nice. Keep me humble, Lord? It brought back to mind some other times throughout the years that similar things have happened. I remember in college I was going through a stage where I was quite toned and felt the need to show it off. I wore a miniskirt that was way to short to be worn in public. I was walking across the parking lot after class ever so confidently (passing a group of guys) when all of a sudden I was flat on the ground. There was nothing to stumble over, I still have no idea what happened-it was like I blacked out. I just remember a guy running over to me and asking if I was okay. During this same time period, I worked at a department store. I recall walking out of the bathroom after primping away, confident in my new "beautiful" designer outfit. I strolled through the break room and was just 2 steps out the door into the store when a girl came running up to me to let me know that my skirt was tucked into the back of my pantyhose-revealing my entire behind. He didn't stop with those days. There have been many vacations when just about the time I start to think a little too much of myself with my nice tan and pampering sessions, the sun and citrus flare up huge sores on my lips.

Could hardly smile or talk in Texas-you can hardly see but in the pic below I have a huge painful blister on the middle of my lower lip. It was so grotesque that my boys had to take a snapshot of it.

Just about a year ago, I started thinking that I was happier with my looks than I ever had felt (not better than others, just the best hairstyle, skin, weight,etc I had in comparison to previous years). I started having some jaw/teeth issues. I went to the dentist and orthodontist, thinking maybe invisalign- ended up needing braces. And, the ceramic/clear would not work (with my severe grinding/clenching issues)-I needed full metal braces for 18 months to correct the issue at hand. Braces. And with the braces came the mouth sores. Half the time I can hardly smile b/c of a sore somewhere on my lip or mouth from the brackets. And a few months ago, I had to start wearing rubber bands.

Atleast my metal mouth matches my jewelry

Thank God that beauty is to be found in the heart. Now, if only I could work on and regard as highly the inside as much as I do the outside.

1 comment:

Sarah Mae said...

I love the title of your blog...more so because of what you are striving towards!

I have finally added you to the 5:16 list - sorry it took me so long!

So nice to "meet" you! :)